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 Post subject: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Tue 06, 2018 7:07 am 
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I found a console, Truetone on Facebook Marketplace. I told him that I wanted it but needed to make transport arrangements. Got back to him and he wouldn't return my messages. Finally I told him to message me even if he sold the radio to someone else, that I would understand. He got back to me saying "thanks for understanding". I took this to mean someone offered him more for the radio and he gave it to them. No money exchanged hands but I came from an era where a verbal agreement was as good as gold. What would you have said, what would you have done or would you just have "blown it off". I am not angry but more hurt and disappointed than anything. Tell me what you think?? Has this happened to you?

Linda

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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Tue 06, 2018 7:44 am 
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Internet "manners" seem to be very different. Hearing a "no" answer to something is almost unheard of. You simply never hear from that person again.

Likewise when selling something, if someone says "I think I'm interested, but have some questions," my instinct is to answer their questions and hold it for them until they respond. But unfortunately, about half of the time, no response at all will come. So it's fine to answer the questions, but don't hold the item for them, and don't suggest that you will. You'll simply be left waiting until you've figured out that you are not going to be hearing anything further.

So the trick is to find ways that keep you looking as polite and trustworthy as possible, but expecting almost nothing of the people you deal with. With a little thought, you'll figure out strategies that work OK.

It's hopeless to think any of this will change. This is simply the internet "culture" that is out there.

There are certainly some exceptions where strangers you deal with on the internet behave just like you'd expect someone in person to do. But unfortunately we can't expect that as the rule.

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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Tue 06, 2018 2:21 pm 
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What we're seeing here is evolution. The nugget of the theory is that the species that survive are the one's that adapt to changing conditions. I don't know if Darwin considered the special case where it is the species in question that is causing the changes.

So....how did we adapt to some major "improvements"?
Printing
Electricity
Telephone
Airplane
Air conditioning
Automobile
Television
Internet
Automation
Computers

Related question:
How many people today would be able to function in the prevailing conditions at some point in the past?

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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Tue 06, 2018 5:25 pm 
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I had an item up for sale on Craigslist for several weeks once. One day I get a reply from someone 90 miles away, he is interested but can't make it down to Phoenix until the weekend, 2 or 3 days. I tell him great, see you then. Next day I get a response form someone local and I explain to him that he is second in line, if the out of towner decides against it, it's his. He could not understand that. How could I tell him no when he could be here today with cash in hand. I told him I gave the other party my word and that means a lot to me. He went ballistic! I then told him he was no longer in the line and that if the out of towner decided against the purchase I would rather send the item to the dump then sell to him. The out of towner ended up making the purchase and was grateful I kept my word.


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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Tue 06, 2018 6:04 pm 
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I wish more people were like you Jim.

When I say I'm going to do something, or be there at a certain time, by darn I WILL be there!
If some uncontrollable situation arises where I can't, I will most certainly let the person know.

I guess I have been lucky with long distance purchases. The item has always been there once I arrived.
Though, I have left a deposit on a few of them to help insure I don't waste the trip.

It is sad that honor is not a common thing these days...

-Steve

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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Tue 06, 2018 6:28 pm 
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Location: Central Florida, 32765
I recently sold a 110 lb set of weights on Craigslist. I was only asking $45 so I figured they would go quickly. I got a call from a kid who said he wanted them but asked if I could hold them for a couple of days. I said no problem. The following day I got several calls asking if the weights were still available. I said they were spoken for. Each individual then offered me $75 for the set and said they could be right over. I said no to them all because I had already struck a deal. When the first caller came by to pick up the weights he offered me an extra $10 because I had honored the original deal. I had told him about the other calls. He was happy to get a nice set of weights and I was happy to get an extra $10 and know I did the right thing. It's really not that difficult.

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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Tue 06, 2018 9:23 pm 
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I wouldn't let it bug me too much. No sale is a definite until the payment has changed hands, at least. Many times wnen trading on Craigslist, a person with a condition to their purchase will hold up a sale. That is not to say that you would, but there are those who will do so, so a seller will discount the expression of interest in favor of an immediate sale. It is good when folks can act in a gracious manner in such matters, but there are no definite rules and people will do as they please.

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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Tue 06, 2018 10:03 pm 
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I've found that the internet has certainly changed things.

I've been a landlord for 40 years, and in the early part of that history, when I would place an ad in the local newspaper or The Recycler, ppl would call to arrange to see the property, and most would show up. Usually maybe 10-15 responses before I rented.

Now, I advertise online. I'll get an easy 50 email responses telling me how very interested they are, and MAYBE a few will actually show up.

It's just a different world, and the old adage, "actions speak louder than words" has never been more relevant.

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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Wed 07, 2018 1:26 am 
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Let me see, Ahhhhh I got it GREED trumps HONOR :x

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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Wed 07, 2018 2:53 am 
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hi lynn,

blow it off and just chalk it up to today's society.

it is one thing for someone to be ignorant, but what is much worse is for someone to be ignorant of their ignorance.

I find this to be more common and a frequent occurrence in present day society of all ages.

the days of a good ole verbal agreement/deal that is sealed with a strong handshake are gone.

...long gone...

steve

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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Wed 07, 2018 9:24 pm 
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azenithnut wrote:
It is sad that honor is not a common thing these days...


So true, Steve. It's not just Craigs List either. I am disappointed to report that there are several ARF members who have "claimed" things I was selling and never followed through. These individuals enjoy enormous presence on ARF and on a daily basis are among the most righteously-opinionated. Yet, after waiting 2 or 3 weeks and sending 2 or 3 PMs/Emails inquiring if they were still interested, they respond with "I've been so busy and the money will be sent tomorrow." But "tomorrow" never comes. (Evidently by being "too busy" they meant they were too busy lambasting postings from other ARF members as they ignored me. They forget about time/date stamping of postings and ARF access which is available to us). All I want is a straight answer. If you decided you don't want what you said you'd take, please at least have the decency to tell me.

I don't know if there is a means of blocking people from stating "I'll take it" who have shown themselves as those whose word means nothing but my policy now is not honor any claim of "I'll take it" from any of those individuals.


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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Wed 07, 2018 9:30 pm 
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^ I'm sorry to hear that. Never used to be that way on this board. In the past we had had issues with one or two sellers, but not buyers. Changing world I guess... :(

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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Wed 07, 2018 9:58 pm 
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Yes, I'm afraid there are some on this forum I refuse to do any business with.

If these individuals ever make a claim on an item I have for sale, I will simply reply that the item is still available and ignore their claim.

-Steve

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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Thu 08, 2018 2:35 am 
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i must say that the buying and selling that i have done on this board were all successful hassle-free transactions.

steve

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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Thu 08, 2018 6:11 am 
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I wonder if it's really that the internet has changed people, or is it just that the internet brings us in contact with more people? Are they still the same churlish, selfish, opinionated "grumpy old men" types who were always around, but you just never would have bumped into them except for the aid of the internet?

When I think about places I've worked over the decades, there were always the gossips, the politicos, the knowledge hoarders, the micro managers, the two-faced, the Eeyores, and the short-tempered in every company. You learned to avoid them, or you quit and found a different job. The internet sort of seems the same to me, just a bigger company and you have a lot more co-workers.

I listen to all the old stories of stuff getting swiped off tables at swap meets, people stealing knobs off each other's radios at club meetings, people writing checks that bounce, getting gypped with shoddy repair work from a serviceman who won't honor his warranty... That's not new with the internet, that stuff has been going on forever. Just maybe not as publicly discussed or as frequently encountered. Before the internet, how many of you ever bought a used radio from across the country and tried to get a seller to ship it to you? Or if you did, how often?


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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Thu 08, 2018 3:50 pm 
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Rodney, you have some good points there.

I tried to think of any radio I had shipped to me before the internet. I don't recall one.

Yet I've had several shipped since.

Also, I've found some of the best radios in my collection since getting internet access!

I guess the good comes with the bad...

-Steve

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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Fri 09, 2018 4:42 am 
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The anonymity and remoteness of the internet simply make people feel they are not accountable to their fellow man. That gives people license to behave badly, without a second thought about any consequences.

Too bad hardly anyone uses real names. In the name of "privacy" and "security" we end up with a medium of social exchange that enables impolite behavior.

All that being said, this forum is a pretty good place overall. If we can ignore certain behaviors, there is a lot to learn and enjoy here.

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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Thu 15, 2018 11:16 am 
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This forum is indeed among the very best.

If you want to observe bad behavior, try a computer forum.

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"It's always something". --Gilda Radner (1946 - 1989)


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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Thu 15, 2018 1:57 pm 
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I tend to believe the exhibiting common courtesy, as both buyer and seller, makes good business sense. Connections can be made in strange ways, and I know I'm much more likely to do business with someone that exhibits the same courtesy back. I've sold on Craigslist, and if someone says they will be there Monday at 5 o'clock to view the item, I will hold it for them, even if another buyer approaches me in the interim. If they don't show by 5:30, it's back for sale.

If a buyer tells me that they need some time to make arrangements, I will try my best to accommodate them within reason, and will at least try to let them know if another buyer approaches. However, as a buyer, I realize that the seller may very well be busy, and may not be in a position to wait for me to come through. It's a bit of a risk I take as a buyer if I don't give a firm and unconditional "I'll take it today". The seller may have been burned too many times holding things for buyers that don't show, etc.

OTOH, if a buyer tells me they need a month to get the money for a $50 item (true story), I don't bother responding. I'm not operating a storage business.


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 Post subject: Re: You'd say or think?
PostPosted: Mar Fri 16, 2018 2:55 pm 
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I've not bought crazy amounts of things online, but have had generally good luck. The worst was probably a washer/dryer I bought on Craigslist. They were advertised as working perfectly; the owners were just moving and had newer stuff at the new place. So, went over and picked them up and, right away, saw that they were a lot more banged-up than the original pictures indicated. Luckily, the cosmetics don't concern me. Fast forward a bit, and I run my first load of laundry. Everything's fine until I pull stuff out of the dryer. Several items are kind of burnt/ripped. What happened is that the bearing was shot in one of the wheels that hold the drum, allowing clothes to get pinched between the drum and the body of the dryer. So far gone that the shaft it was riding on had about a 1/4" groove worn in it, so it's obviously been an issue for a while. So, around $50 in parts later, I message the guy and ask him to split the cost of repairs with me (which I thought was reasonable). I got no response. I didn't bother messaging further.

At times like that, I think of a quote I use often from the movie "Angus": People suck, grandpa.

Of course, for every negative encounter I have, I have ten that are good. Like the guy who says, "I'll go ahead and ship your item. Just mail me a check when you can."


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