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 Post subject: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Thu 21, 2020 7:44 pm 
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one of my family members who lives like 10 hours away is staying at our house, and i was showing him some of my vintage televisions, and he was talking about how that was stupid because they have a bad picture and that some of them did not even have colour, he mentioned that a small flat screen TV could be put into them and make them good again, and that the console sets would be cool as a fish tank. i let him know how against this i was and he did not really care, he is a nice guy i guess he is just an idiot. i would love to slap him across the face next time he says that but i dont think that would be appreciated.

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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Thu 21, 2020 7:52 pm 
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Well, you certainly can't slap him, that would be illegal to say the least.

However, you can make it perfectly clear that you do not wish to listen to his rude and inappropriate "advice" about a hobby which is very meaningful to you but he obviously knows nothing about. You could also inform him that even suggesting such repurposing is very offensive to those who collect such sets and that we prefer to keep them original since they would have no value to a collector after they had been modified.

You also don't ever have to allow him into your house again. :roll:

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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Thu 21, 2020 8:33 pm 
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Stop caring what dummies think (or do to stuff that isn't mine).... That is my cheat code for not getting violent.


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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Thu 21, 2020 9:35 pm 
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Suggest to this relative that he install a chimpanzee brain and instantly double his IQ.


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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Thu 21, 2020 10:26 pm 
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ecaden1 wrote:
one of my family members who lives like 10 hours away is staying at our house, and i was showing him some of my vintage televisions, ... i let him know how against this i was and he did not really care, he is a nice guy i guess he is just an idiot. i would love to slap him across the face next time he says that but i dont think that would be appreciated.
OH MY.

The following is probably not too kind, but here is what I would be prompted to do.

I think I might start with, "I'm sorry, did you think I was asking for your opinion?" Then I might say, "The next time I want your opinion on something you will know it because I will actually ASK for it. Otherwise I am not really interested." Oh, and if they find that offensive I would probably mention they are free to stay somewhere else before I start expressing some opinions of my own.

Someone, family member or not, who is that disrespectful of something that means something you, deserves nothing better than a boot in the rear.

I think sometimes people are idiots because we continue to allow them to act like idiots rather than pointing out the real problem.

Curtis Eickerman

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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Thu 21, 2020 10:39 pm 
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Personally I don't think it's worthwhile to admonish someone not familiar with our somewhat unique hobby; the discipline is simply beyond their ken, and many, apparently like this relative, not only don't understand, but don't want to as well.

My response would have simply been, "you have your hobbies and likes, and I have mine".

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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Thu 21, 2020 10:57 pm 
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"Never try to teach a pig to sing.....it wastes your time, and annoys the pig."

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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Fri 22, 2020 12:22 am 
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Does your relative have an activity or hobby interest, or is there anything that they cherish and appreciate? Anything vintage, any sort of heirloom or keepsake? Cars? Motorcycles? Baseball? Fishing? Books? Dad's old chainsaw? If so, then perhaps by suggesting a gutting and irreversible modification of that object associated with their interest or memory, to supposedly "improve it," you might get them to think about this in a slightly different way. (Of course, one might need to be careful about what modifications one suggests, lest they take it seriously ...)
R/ John


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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Fri 22, 2020 12:42 am 
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yeah, he works on old cars, right now he is completely rebuilding an old AMX, see if he would like it if we took "all the outdated components" out of it and replaced them with stuff from a smart car or something, anyway. i am just not paying attension to him much, i had him cleaning the gutters earlier, sometime this week he is going to help put a new roof on a shed, so i am working him. I dont think he realized what he was saying was offensive or anything and has not mentioned it since earlier, i was just mad at the time.

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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Fri 22, 2020 1:32 am 
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" Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it "

George Santayana 1905

As a working engineer I find it useful to know how previous engineers solved problems that we aren't faced with today.

I fear the car he is restoring is not old enough for him to learn any such lessons from it, however, you could suggest that buying a new crated engine and transmission from GM and installing that could well be cheaper and would give him a better drive!

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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Fri 22, 2020 1:37 am 
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Actually slapping someone across the face was a recommended therapy, for a Psychiatrist to use, back in the 1920's, to treat a patient diagnosed with Hysteria, to calm them down and snap them out of it.

Historically at least, face slapping was also socially accepted that a women could do it to a man if he made an inappropriate or insulting remark. Even in those times though it was never accepted that a man could do it to a woman. Also in popular culture, it was not uncommon for women to "beat up the guy" even in pop songs, for example these lyrics in the Joan Armatrading song:

"Big woman and a short, short man
And he loves it when she beats his brains out
He's pecked to death but he loves the pain
And he loves it when she calls him names"

Years ago a female colleague of mine was working as a junior doctor on an outpatient clinic and a male patient was so rude & insulting, she found herself about to slap him across the face, fortunately she thought better of it, managed to compose herself and walked out of the room, but according to her it was a very close call.

We were once told by one of our Professors, if we ever did use the "slapping therapy" for Hysteria, we'd better make sure that the diagnosis was correct.

On the other hand if somebody makes an insulting remark about a vintage TV collection, well that is much more serious and requires a severe response!


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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Fri 22, 2020 1:37 am 
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Is the relative related to your through your wife? Don't slap him, stay married.

Len

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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Fri 22, 2020 3:08 am 
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I am 17, so not not a relative of my wife. technically not a relative at all, just my moms friend since she was like 10.

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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Fri 22, 2020 4:11 am 
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Have you thought he might be trying to wind you up and he knows all the hot buttons to push?!

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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Fri 22, 2020 9:11 am 
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Indeed, it's possible he might be baiting you. He can appreciate his AMX and you can appreciate your vintage TVs, and hopefully peace will reign.
Veering far off-topic here, but in terms of what used to done to "snap someone out of" a mental state, I clearly recall being with my parents when we visited my older sister who was doing a half-year "tour of duty" at the (un-named) state hospital for the mentally and criminally insane in the process of her getting her medical degree ... this was in the early 1960s. Electro-shock therapy still was used, and my sister brought us into one of the locked wards and introduced us to one of the patients who had undergone the procedure only the day before (such a thing would never be allowed in our current time). The patient was a woman in her 60s and, while I recall her being a bit quiet, she appeared (to me anyway - I was just a kid) as normal as anyone you might ever meet, and she and my parents had a pleasant conversation. (As for me, I remember being quite uncomfortable about the whole thing, having nothing to talk about and just wanting to leave.) Normal conversation aside, my sister told us that about every 15 - 20 days this patient would suddenly regress into some sort of a serious state (never really described to me, apparently in consideration of my tender years). Electro-shock brought her out of it. We saw the room where it was done (vacant at the time), and the restraint table and the electrodes. Oh my, how times have changed.
Sorry for the wild tangent ... now back to discussion of vintage electronic devices.
R/ John


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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Sun 24, 2020 10:05 am 
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Gee... and here I thought the Sistine Chapel ceiling would look a lot better if they just hung a lot of flat-screen TV's from it and made it into a video wall... or ceiling, as the case may be. :roll:

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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Sun 24, 2020 10:45 am 
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I deal with Family members who say these sort of things on a daily basis.

'It's stupid 'cause its not in color'
'He always uses really old technology that is really really dumb'
'You can do better things than fix this old Junk'
'I wish I could break all of Jay's old vacuum tubes'

All from one particular family member who is very narcissistic and self centered. I usually roll my eyes and say something along the lines of "OK" when he says them. Of course there other comments from other people, but not as harsh. I try to be as polite as I possibly can, especially when they are older.

My word is, to be as most respectful as possible.

P.S. Anyone remember the good old Slapping Duo? (Gladys Ormphby, and Tyrone F. Horneigh?)

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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Mon 25, 2020 2:10 am 
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Gladys and Tyrone from Laugh-In. My favorite line was when he asked her if she believed in the "hereafter" and she said " yes", and he said "then you know what I'm here after!"


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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Mon 25, 2020 11:18 am 
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rcadanny wrote:
Gladys and Tyrone from Laugh-In. My favorite line was when he asked her if she believed in the "hereafter" and she said " yes", and he said "then you know what I'm here after!"


Actually there was a better one liner on an Austin Powers movie when he met a girl wearing very tight trousers. He said to her: Wow, tight pants baby, how do you get into them ? She replied "you can start by buying me a drink"

But these sorts of one liners actually started nearly a century ago, on film, with the Marx Brothers. Groucho Marx asked a woman if she was wearing a pair of revolving doors. When she asked why he replied, because I would like to go around with you sometime.


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 Post subject: Re: how do i not slap someone across the face?
PostPosted: May Mon 25, 2020 11:47 pm 
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Many folks just don't get it, especially the younger generation. I told a young engineer at work about my upcoming restoration of a 1947 Crosley 630TS clone, and he said "Why would you want to do that?" !

I still remember that bit from "Laugh-In" .

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